This post was penned quite sometime ago, June 17th to be exact.
At the time I had just had a glorious, magnificent, tremendous argument with my “SO”, notice how I magnanimously left out the B in that acronym.
When in the midst of any such argument there is often no backing down, on either side, things are said and feelings definitely hurt. I sometimes hate being the “bigger person” and backing down, but in an attempt to avoid unwanted heartache and backlash, it is often necessary. I found it quite cosmic, that while sitting here, stewing in my apparent defeat, I’ve come across an article in the recent YOUR FAMILY Magazine on how to remain calm in certain situations. The article seemed to be written more for panic attacks, but I felt that the tips mentioned could benefit anyone needing a little more calm in their lives. It spoke mostly on how to achieve a long-term state of personal well-being as opposed to “backing-down” or defeat, which is what comes to my mind when I think of staying calm during a fight. Just as a disclaimer I ain’t no brawler there is no McGregor blood in me! I just get verbally mean and defensive.
Some of the helpful tips for immediate results were;
- Distraction – using music, photos, or even smells to separate yourself from the rising rage or anxiety that might be enveloping you.
- Breathing – don’t we see this tip almost everywhere. slow deep breathing (usually with your eyes closed) can do wonders for an over stimulated environment.
And on a more long term lifestyle note;
- Stop Multi-tasking and multi-thinking – think of the saying “The straw that broke that camels back”. If you’re in a constantly high-strung, emotional, exhausted state, it’s only a matter of time before something relatively minor causes a major meltdown.
- Put the phone away – we all now that a “quick checkin on FB” can last for up to 2 hours. Think of all the stuff, work-wise and de-stressing wise, you could have done in that time. be mindful of the time you spend on your devices so that it doesn’t place unnecessary pressure on you later.
- Tick of that list – I love making lists, but hardly tick anything off, I’m jumping between tasks and never really completing anything. Focus on what needs to be done and do it. The fact that its done, combined with the satisfaction of crossing it off is priceless.
- Let go of activities – Contrary to the point above, this speaks about prioritising and actioning what is necessary. asking the question “Will not doing it immediately, matter in a month”. It sounds like procrastination, so don’t fall into the trap of leaving too much to get done later, but rather look at a task and decide on it’s importance at this immediate point in time.
- Get more active – Again, a tip we have heard over and over again, but rarely heed. but being more active does have the obvious health benefits and helps with managing stress, what with all those endorphins being released. I guess when you’re about to freak out, a quick jog on the spot, star jumps could alleviate some tension, but a decent exercise routine should be set up.
So there you have it, whether you’re a panic mechanic, or a hot head that tends to rise to the challenge when in the middle of an argument, hopefully these few tips can help alleviate some emotional stress and tension.
I’ll let you know if I manage to implement these and how I manage an argument the next time around.